*POOF* - A story of Magic, Dolls, and Friendship

[EL_R]

Thinking about this story has been driving me up my lamp's wall. I just don't understand the emotion running through Billie. My High School life was largely embarrassment free. Except for a few things I will never speak of.

I don't know what's going on in Billie's cotton head. And I don't know how students would react to an almost six foot tall living doll.

Help me, Stuckposing, you're my only hope.

A few things I think:

1) Billie would normally like to be a living, moving, doll like she is now. If she was just by herself or with Kristen. And if she knows she will be full human soon.

2)Billie is not used to much attention outside of her Track team. She doesn't involve herself with most groups of the school, and nobody gives her grief.

3) Dolls are poor decision makers. They need an owner or a human to make up their minds. How would this affect Billie's testing abilities?

4) What will her teachers do when they see a clown doll walk into their classroom?

I'm trying to sort these things out, and I'm not sure I can. 

[Masteroftoys]

Hmm, you've got yourself backed into a corner with this one.

I have to say it's got to be a very tricky spot to be in. You want your character to be both human and doll, both physically and mentally, and I don’t know if that can work. At least I couldn’t do so for long and keep the story entertaining. In the end the character has to have one side leading, whether it’s that she’s mentally still a girl, while physically as doll, or vice versa, one side has to take the lead. Unless the character is in the process of transforming, where the character is once again trying to find which side is in control. .

[EL_R]

OK, so brainstorming:

Billie absolutely wants to be a human long term. No owner, no squishy body, none of that. When she gets to school, she's been a doll for a bit over twelve hours, and didn't have a good time of it. She found out, honestly, that being a toy is kinda boring, and also annoying when Kristen didn't play with her right. And then she's scared for the rest of the night about going to school the next day.

So that puts her definitely in the human mind, doll body camp. She tries, unsuccessfully to hide herself. She's not strong enough to walk in shoes or even wear a coat. She can't hide her face, or her hair. She has to go into school without a disguise.

So, what . . . someone needs to find Billie and treat her like a toy? Wants her to be a toy. Kristen doesn't; again, not long term. How would that work?

[conscious_object]

I think what you've written yourself into a corner about is it being a day as important as mid-terms. If this character were me (and her attitude about doll stuff does seem pretty similar to me), I would skip class. Even if it were mid-terms. I'd try to figure out a way for someone to call in sick for me, and wouldn't go. It'd be a pain having to schedule a time with teachers to make up the tests, but it sounds like there is zero way she could hide her appearance, and "I'm celebrating Halloween early/late?" isn't going to fly. Even if she decides she's going to tell her classmates that she's just being eccentric, the *teachers* are going to demand she take her costume off, because she is causing a distraction.

Now if you were wanting to explore someone at school looking human but being in that doll sort of mindset you're referring to, where she needs someone to make decisions for her, that might be much more realistic (if not quite as interesting). Or, you could set it so that the next day is by some completely amazing coincidence Halloween dress up day at school, and explore the doll thing that way. How come she's not eating at lunch, won't take off her costume, etc.

[EL_R]

That's not a bad assessment, K-8. Now, I do know that Billie is adventurous enough (and maybe a bit of an exhibitionist) that she could work up the courage to go out in public in doll form. But walking around strangers who, at worst, will give her dirty looks, is an entirely different experience from classmates. I also don't think she would want her family to see her (though they probably wouldn't recognize her).

So, what if we go the other way? Billie is worried and worried and worried through the night about going to school. She's a doll and is a poor decision maker. She's keeping Kristen up and bothering her, and Kristen tells her the alternative ("So stay at home!"). This works for Billie, and she gets a good nights rest and stays at her friends empty house that day.

What then? I imagine if you skip school, doll or not, you're going to end up watching trash TV or otherwise entertaining yourself. Billie might be a little playful and goes to play with some toys (the right way, this time). But there's no conflict there, nothing interesting. My most promising thought is that she finds something. Something about the talisman or Kristen that reflects that Kristen is maybe more interested in Billie Doll than Billie Person. *POOF* Conflict. I mean, I said the story is about friendship, right? Maybe that friendship needs to be tested.

Second thought: What about Bruce? So, I have this idea of this other entity (doll? fairy? other?) who is disguised as an astronaut rag doll, and who is definitely more interested in Billie Doll. In fact, he wants her to be his adorable doll forever. He is the Bad Guy. Billie wants to be human sometime soon, and a doll when she plans for it. *POOF* Conflict.

I think this has been helpful to me. I think I know where to go from here.

[conscious_object]

I have to admit, my assumption was that maybe that male doll has some sort of strange power when he said "you will be mine next time Kristen leaves" or whatever, and I figured since she's still technically a doll (though a large one), he'd still have whatever power he was hinting at. Though I honestly don't know what you had in mind when you had him say that line.

[EL_R]

The good news for Billie is that because she's a living doll, complete with a cotton heart, the astronaut has to actually work now to get her to be his. If she was still a normal doll, she would have been his the moment Kristen left the room. Also, I am wary of using his powers (which he absolutely has) before more fully understanding his limits.

AND I just realized how the next part ends. It will drive all of you crazy.

[Masteroftoys]

Do tell.

[EL_R]

This is how the part 3 ends. It is also how it begins. En. Medias. Res.


Kristen stormed through the door, her heart thumping in her neck. She could barely breathe and looked at the world through tear soaked eyes. She took the right turn into the hallway to her room, and came to a jolting stop when she ran into her mother.

"Kristen! Why aren't you in school?"

The teen didn't bother to respond and pushed around her mom, swiping at her salty eyes as she did.

"Are you crying? What happened?"

Kristen started to speak automatically, but she stopped and forced herself to rethink her answer. "I fucked up." She said. And she felt that awful pinch; that fleeting touch inside her brain that told her she had just lost a part of herself, and a day where she raced bikes with Billie became a day of lonely riding. "That's not fair!" She shouted to her ceiling. The ceiling did not respond. And yet she swore she heard laughter.

She didn't stop. Not until she was in her room, to her bed, and had her fingers wrapped around the silver chain and its magical blue pendant.

"Kristen, what is going on?"

The brunette turned, "I can't say." She wasted no time and slipped the necklace on. She put both hands over the pendant. She closed her eyes.

[conscious_object]

Interesting, but there's a couple things as a reader that confused me:

- I first read "pushed around her mom" as her pushing her mom around, where maybe you meant "pushed past?"

- In the fifth paragraph, she's talking to her mom and she feels a pinch, then she's riding her bike by herself, then she's shouting at some ceiling, then she thinks she hears laughing. Then in the next paragraph she's in the house with her mom again like none of that just happened?

[EL_R]

- Yes to the first

- I'll take a look at revising the second. Basically, Kristen has a memory of racing bikes with Billie, then feels a pinch inside her brain, and suddenly that memory turns into her riding a bike alone. Billie is being erased from her memory one piece at a time.

[conscious_object]

- Yes to the first

- I'll take a look at revising the second. Basically, Kristen has a memory of racing bikes with Billie, then feels a pinch inside her brain, and suddenly that memory turns into her riding a bike alone. Billie is being erased from her memory one piece at a time.

Ah, that is *very* interesting. Didn't come across in the paragraph, but a very creative idea.